Once upon a tray of DPS, a Letter Carrier in NJ finally made regular after waiting 5 ridiculously LONG years at his relay box. A hiring moratorium curse had lifted in the valley; it was a day to rejoice during a brutal recession.  The noble Parcel Prince asked his artist girlfriend to design a Holiday postcard to introduce himself to his newly awarded realm, and connect with new customers. Maildude Dave knew the card must reflect his professionalism, dedication, and courage, without completely destroying his bad-ass image.  

 

The maiden worked tirelessly, into long nights, balancing a baby and day job, to create a card good enough to be Postal Proud!  Cup, after cup, of black coffee, scribbling away; she finally made a design that was, sufficiently  "Bitchin".   (I'm just quoting the aforementioned, newly crowned, Dark Lord of Flats and Advos. Don't came at me bruh.) 

 

The unique cards touched a lot of people that year, and everyone in the office loved them.  They adored them so much, they asked, NO!, PLEADED with Maildude Dave to reveal where they can get an art maiden of their own. To this he remarked; "She is the weaver of graphite, the sailor of watercolor seas, a tortured soul that cannot be bought, nor replicated, nor touched, by any mortal Mailman NOR Mailma'am!  BUT!!... the cards CAN be.   That will be $12.00 please."

 

That was nearly 2/3rds a score ago, and the art maiden and her Dark Lord of DPS still grind away over Mail, and Mail Themed art.  Thankful for their Postal fellows, honored to serve other Carriers, and as bitter as the coffee they guzzle to navigate the Postal life.  We wouldn't have it any other way.

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THE END

 

(There's a lot more, but it's pretty boring.  Like, it includes accounting spreadsheets, pallets of paper taking over the living room, tax compliance and IRS folks, paper cuts, and broken printers, and people stealing ideas. No one likes that kind of realness.)